♥Loleepolly♥

How do u define CONTENTMENT?

To some ppl, contentment can be getting the branded stuffs they want, can be getting loved by the one they love, having alot money, having lots of frens and so on..

BUT actually wat is true happiness and contentment that our inner soul wants and yearns? for my case, i feel that onli a complete family does gives me the contentmen.not onli COMPLETE but w all the warmth love and committment that a family needs.

i actually haf this inspiration to post this from my hubby.was having a lecture by him earlier on and i was motivated by it to actually blog abt it.

sumtimes i reali dunno wat i want in life.. i feel lost feel confused.but wheneva i look into the eyes of my children, it jus moves my heart and i finally reali want.i wan a happy and complete family.BUT at the same time im jus so afraid.Having said so, i feel that i dun haf the confidence in myself at all and i guess i jus got to work on this.
another ting that i reali yearn to haf is frenship.i reali yearn for it and not onli simply frenship but TRUE frenship, true frens.but once again im afraid.

why am i feeling this way,? cuz of the sins and mistakes i ve done to affect alot of my frenship im scared that none of them will eva treat me like a fren anymore.but deep in my heart, i reali hope im being accepted by them again.cuz frens are equally impt to me too.

b4 i continue i wan thank my dear fren AILING.she is my close fren during sec sch and even till now we are stil in contact.its been 12 years.and i appreciate it so much.She noes abt my financial situation she actually helped me to get a job and im gg start middle of may.now not onli we are close frens, we are also colleagues.reali thank her so much. this is wat ppl mention as 'ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS'

anyway, i always tot i haf nth left in my life but actually i haf so much.i shld be contented w wat i haf.
after losing one ovary i actually able to haf two kids.i shd be more contented and thankful.

now my wish is actually to go back to the times when im in sec school.the times are jus so precious and happy and simple.

i wan to move on from all my past sins and mistakes and start my life anew..

and me the same old brand new ME!